Making a deal?
by Devlac
Summary: Naruto is mentally troubled because of his unrequited love. How will he react when the Kyuubi says he can help him to change this situation? Will be pairings. Some mature themes, such as the thought of suicide.


**She won't be mine, but even so…**

For how long have I had this feeling? I can't even remember anymore… Days pass as her face starts to blur along with my memories. I sit in a small room, my back leaning to the cold wall that separates me from the big world. I don't ever want to leave this spot again, never want to have to think of anything again. If I could just sit here, then surely… surely she'll disappear, won't she? From my mind, from my thoughts, but most of all she'll disappear from my heart. I long for the past when seeing her smile didn't matter, for the days she was just a person and not _the_ person. Ah, I'm thinking of her again, am I not? The girl to whom I entrusted my heart, just to find it covered in dust.

The first ray of sunlight shines down onto my face, heating it slightly. I smile as the heat remind me of the feelings I can't rid myself of. The thoughts I've had so many times and the feelings that pulled me through the worst of times. I've held the knife, looking into the afterlife before.

Maybe today I'll end it? Surely not. Though I feel that I have nothing to live for and that people could live on without me, I've never been able to muster the courage to end it. My life that is. The darkness embracing me and stealing away my breath frightens me even more so than my thoughts. Still suicide is so tempting… _'Would she cry?' 'I'll show her how much I mean to her!'_ The look on her face as she realized I would be no more. I truly am a monster for wanting to inflict such pain on the one I love.

These feelings I have can't be love, can they? The pure feeling of love I've heard so much about, will there be a time when even a mislead soul as myself can truly believe in that?

My hand slowly makes its way towards my face. I look at it for a few seconds, lost in thought. Then I wipe away a single tear running from the corner of my eye with my finger.

I put my hand to my mouth and lick the tear off, a slight salty taste. Then I put my teeth into the finger and try to chew it off as more tears fill my eyes to the rim before leaping down my face. At the first taste of blood I awake from my thoughts and get up on my legs, running towards the medicine kit.

All bandaged up, I decide to get dressed.

I pass my mirror many times on the hunt for clothes, but not once do I take a look. I know I don't look good enough for her and I can think of many reasons as to why I do not want to take a look.

My day has just started, but I know that before it ends I will probably be able to feel the salty taste of tears again.

=============================================================================

My courage disappears again and the world seems scary again, while this room feels safe.

I throw myself at the bed and bury my face in a pillow, wondering about when I will finally take the first step out again.

The food is basically gone and the trash is starting to smell.

Still somehow this feels good.

A reason to leave the house…

A reason to take steps outside…

A reason to see her face again…

A heavenly voice calls my name, and I think that the goddess of sleep once again has sent me a dream of her.

It doesn't take too long to realize that the voice is far too real.

To the rhythm of my heartbeats accelerating pace someone knocks on the door. "Naruto-kuun~"

Unable to believe this voice to be true I jump out of bed, clumsily falling over. A third time the velvet voice reach my ears; "Naruto-kun, open up~ I have something to tell you!"

Without saying anything I start making my way to the door. "I know you're in there! I'm coming in!" And just as I reach the door separating us, it's already opened, revealing a pink haired girl.

In the confusion we end up close enough to hear each other's breath. I know I'm blushing, but for now I don't care.

I can't explain why, but I'm happy. I hate her so much, but as her emerald eyes meet mine I can't help but feel like the luckiest guy on earth.

Pulling back, she reveals another person behind her.

Sasuke-teme of course.

My happiness is mixed with irritation, but my focus is at the pink-haired kunoichi. She seems to be very nervous. Her face is blushing and her right foot is nervously moving around. She's wearing her usual red outfit, but her hands are hidden from view.

Trying to look calm, I lean against the doorframe with a confident smile. How long I can keep this façade, I don't know… It has worked before, but I'm a bit out of practice after locking myself up in this crappy apartment.

Then her hand makes its way into my sight.

The smile disappears from my lips and my hand instantly closes the door. _'A ring…'_

"Sasuke and I are getting married…"

All the pieces fall into place.

The sudden visit

The nervous Sakura

The accompanying –teme

Everything was hinted at something like this.

And here I was hoping what?

That they'd want me back?

That she would suddenly have feelings for me?

How naïve am I?

Still outside are two wondering "friends".

Words are spoken, but my mind pays them no notice.

Shattered to pieces, I thought I was unable to feel this strongly again...

"Naruto, I want you to be my best man…"

With those words I somehow collected the last strength of my voice and answered the raven haired Uchiha: "Sure"

The voices disappear and the sound of steps walking away from the apartment is the only thing to be heard.

After I ensured that I could not be heard, I let it out.

All my pain and agony, in the form of crying. My whole being is writhing in denial.

For the first time in my life I cried my heart out, leaving nothing for later.

Then a voice could be heard from the depths of my inner self. "Would you like to change this present, boy?"

I was oblivious to the consequences my answer would give.

"Yes…"


End file.
